© Mikael Jansson for VOGUE
As the music world eagerly awaits the 2025 Grammy Awards, where Billie Eilish’s latest masterpiece, HIT ME HARD AND SOFT, is nominated for top honors, the young virtuoso finds herself at an unexpected crossroads. With an Oscar already under her belt for the hauntingly beautiful “What Was I Made For?” from the Barbie soundtrack, one would assume Eilish has long been basking in the glory of her vocal prowess. Yet, in an interview with Mason, the 22-year-old reveals a startling truth: she’s only now, slowly, embracing her identity as a vocalist.
For years, the internet’s chorus of criticism echoed in Eilish’s mind, insidiously planting seeds of self-doubt. “A singer has a big powerhouse voice,” the online consensus seemed to declare, leaving Eilish to ponder, “Because of my whole insecurity of being like, ‘I’m not a big singer, I’m not a good singer’, I was worried that a singing teacher would tell me that I wasn’t a good singer.” This pervasive insecurity not only silenced her inner cheerleader but also kept her from seeking vocal lessons, fearing the validation of her deepest fears: “I wasn’t a good singer.”
Eilish’s reluctance to engage in vocal training until later in life stems from a universal fear, one she eloquently articulates: “I think I have that thing where you don’t wanna try something new because you don’t wanna be bad at it,” This apprehension, however, runs deeper for Eilish, drawing parallels to her experiences as a young, athletic girl in a male-dominated sport.
